I haven’t told you many a things in our 2 years of married life. I can no more hold them and hence this letter.
I will start off by sharing a small incident of my life. I was 22 when I was stuck with this idea of buying a diamond ring for myself. When I discussed this idea with my friends, everyone said “You would get married in a year or two, your guy would buy one for your engagement”. I couldn’t buy the idea. So, I bought one for myself and said, “I think I don’t need a man to buy me diamonds, I need him to be beside me when I make my way to diamonds”.
While girls of my age, wanted to marry a man who treated her like a princess, you know what I prayed for? A man who would treat me like a fellow human. I know, it sounds too simple and strong but trust me that is what I prayed for. It isn’t easy to be a woman because you are considered a woman first and human next in the current society no matter what. We are expected to loose so many things with marriage and our credibility is counted by immense number of sacrifices we make which starts with our name. Name is the first and foremost thing we are unknowingly ready to sacrifice.
Thank you, for not asking me to change my name (including last name). My name means a lot to me, it is my identity that I obtained with 26 years of hard work. I gave a meaning to myself. Every time I look at my engineering certificates and masters certificates my chest fills up with pride. I’ve put in years of work to see my name in a certificate which reads my name. I took my name with pride, I never wanted to be called something else. And now, thank you for treating me like a fellow human and understand what my name meant to me without arguing on it. I still remember that day when I asked “What if I do not want to change my name?” And you said, “It’s your choice. I never understood the concept anyways and I would love to have that name as is.”. Thank you for not making me feel bad for not sacrificing my name.
Thank you, for not pushing cooking completely on to me and saying it’s a woman’s job. Thank you, for considering me a human, who went to college just like you and who works everyday like you. Thank you for helping me in kitchen. I know, you aren’t a great cook. Neither I would expect you to be one. But your helping hand means a lot to me. It doesn’t matter if I cook more often as you try to make it up by helping in cutting and cleaning.
Thank you, for not making those sexist jokes on how women drive, how they shop and how they get ready. Do you remember that day? Where you compared your love for sports & cars with my love for fashion, make-up and dressing and that I need not to be ashamed of showing inclination towards it. That was one of those great conversations we had which I shall cherish forever. When I am not great at driving, thanks for blaming it on to my years of experience as compared to yours.
Thank you, for encouraging and pushing my business idea. My parents gave me wings to fly, thank you for believing in me and not breaking those wings. Today, when I am juggling my full time job, business and blogging, I can tell that it is your support which made all this possible.
Thank you for giving equal weightage to my opinions. I was brought up in a family setup where each family member’s opinion is weighed equally. This was my biggest fear in marriage. I had constant questions on how my opinions mattered? Because, That is how I know I exist.
Thank you for everything. I can never thank you enough for treating me like your best friend more than a wife. The respect you give to me is overwhelming.
Thank you for considering me as a human first and woman next 🙂
I know there is a slight hypocrisy in this letter. You would be thinking, if we both are equal then where is the need for Thanking for the reasons mentioned above. But for once I felt like thanking because, no matter what, I belong to the generation where it is not easy to run into a partner like you. I felt like saying a Thank you for the same 🙂